13thfallenangel | Sour roilling in mah belleh

I just remembered another reason why I hate staying at my parents' place.

They have a tendency to attack me during dinner or have a nice loud argument whilst I'm having my dinner.

I suppose we can blame their ignorance of their own offspring. When I eat, I want to enjoy and savour my food. Sure, dinners can be pretty good or alright most days when my mother cooks. She's not that great of a cook but she specialises in certain dishes and I want to enjoy them. Instead, I have to fend off all kinds of questions and accusations and banal stories about how shitty their lives are and how much they hate their boss and colleagues and how they wanted to be something else instead when they were younger.

Well, guess what? I didn't get to be what I wanted to be as well so SHUT YOUR YAP!!!

Instead, I do my best to multi task and defend and shovel food in as fast as possible. Food nowadays it seems, is more of chore rather than a joy. I'm a foodie. If I can't enjoy my food, I tend to be very, very, upset. And cranky.

I miss cooking for myself. Sure, it's a big mess and takes a while to prep, but I like being able to concentrate completely on something so I can produce a delicious meal albeit eccentric. Just being able to concentrate is getting harder and harder to do but I can still do it in the kitchen. Except when mother dear shows up and tries to show me how to cook "her way". Thanks but no thanks. I've learnt how to cook all by myself with no help from you and far too much cooking shows from the babysitter TV.

For the past several weeks, home cooked dinners have been nothing but awful. I hate it.