rocking my world.....part I
Jun. 10th, 2005 11:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
13thfallenangelok......something happened today....something that I've quite admittedly fantasized about before, in a rather romantic setting really....and with a guy who isn't quite that old.......crap man.....
right, went out today with a guy friend that I met at JAFWA for Mr & Mrs Smith.......just friends.....we've chatted a LOT before this, usually in his car, parked outside the student accomodations that I live in....before this, he had a habit of just stroking my thigh, close to the knee....he sometimes touch the small of my back or...well, u know....just touches.....
but just now, in his car, parked outside....we were chatting away.....and... his hand was stroking my thigh, and it got higher and higher....i didn't say anything because i found it nice and i didn't mind it......half an hour later, he ran his fingers over my denim clad crotch.....in a gentle manner.....then he started gently stroking my tummy, commented in a quiet voice about how he liked my skin, my legs....his hand went under my shirt then and started rubbing my breasts.....his touch was really gentle, i couldn't feel it half the time.....of course, i'm pretty freaked at this point, staring the car ceiling....but i did stopped him when he tried to slip his hand under my bra....after a while of stroking my legs, crotch n breasts, i finally told him to stop.....confessed that i was confused n scared....i couldn't look at his face, but he was looking at mine.......he stroked my hand instead....real gentle....i even had a very short breakdown on him....it's kinda weird for me, coz ppl don't touch me freely.....or compliment that i look good, or attractive.....he told me i'm adorable, attractive....sensitive.....i'd like to know how he knew that.........
did i mention he's 43 n has diabetes n a rounded gut? but he's a nice fella, n i talked rather freely around him but i dont tell him everything.....i never tell anyone everything......gods.....i don't know what to do.....he's a nice guy, but.....urgh!!!!!!!this is a first for me.....i'm just....i don't know.......of course, i found out later in the loo that he did make me a bit wet......he wasn't even groping really! he was stroking.....kinda like...carressing.....gods.....i think i heard him whisper i love you at one point when i was crying........oh god......what do i do?
right, went out today with a guy friend that I met at JAFWA for Mr & Mrs Smith.......just friends.....we've chatted a LOT before this, usually in his car, parked outside the student accomodations that I live in....before this, he had a habit of just stroking my thigh, close to the knee....he sometimes touch the small of my back or...well, u know....just touches.....
but just now, in his car, parked outside....we were chatting away.....and... his hand was stroking my thigh, and it got higher and higher....i didn't say anything because i found it nice and i didn't mind it......half an hour later, he ran his fingers over my denim clad crotch.....in a gentle manner.....then he started gently stroking my tummy, commented in a quiet voice about how he liked my skin, my legs....his hand went under my shirt then and started rubbing my breasts.....his touch was really gentle, i couldn't feel it half the time.....of course, i'm pretty freaked at this point, staring the car ceiling....but i did stopped him when he tried to slip his hand under my bra....after a while of stroking my legs, crotch n breasts, i finally told him to stop.....confessed that i was confused n scared....i couldn't look at his face, but he was looking at mine.......he stroked my hand instead....real gentle....i even had a very short breakdown on him....it's kinda weird for me, coz ppl don't touch me freely.....or compliment that i look good, or attractive.....he told me i'm adorable, attractive....sensitive.....i'd like to know how he knew that.........
did i mention he's 43 n has diabetes n a rounded gut? but he's a nice fella, n i talked rather freely around him but i dont tell him everything.....i never tell anyone everything......gods.....i don't know what to do.....he's a nice guy, but.....urgh!!!!!!!this is a first for me.....i'm just....i don't know.......of course, i found out later in the loo that he did make me a bit wet......he wasn't even groping really! he was stroking.....kinda like...carressing.....gods.....i think i heard him whisper i love you at one point when i was crying........oh god......what do i do?
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Date: 2005-06-10 05:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-10 05:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-12 10:06 am (UTC)Having said that, I'll also say it's difficult to judge what a person may have in mind ... Why are you confused, though?
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Date: 2005-06-12 10:10 am (UTC)of course, there might be the fact that i think i'm a bit more emphatic than most people...something i've always had as a kid so its probably one of my reasons for being distant...*shrugs*