where's Morpheus and Kronos?
Aug. 11th, 2005 05:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
13thfallenangelI think I'm going to be sick soon. I'm coughing again and sneezing more often.
Might have to do with the erratic sleep schedule I've had for the past few weeks. Not to mention any proper meals in the past few days. But that's okay, I've gone to bed hungry many times. And thirsty. And tired. And lonely.
And yes, I'm feeling tired again. Not physically. My soul feels like it's actually 500 years old. I feel weary, jaded, yet horribly naive in this generation. I feel the need to smoke and imbibe in some alcohol. It's a pity the taste of cigs kill off my tastebuds and speeds up any sorethroat or coughs I might have, and alcohol makes me even more depressed. Another reason why I've never been drunk. There's only so much depression one can take. And I'm not about to repeat my 14th year. Or was 15th? My memory is failing me as well. I need to have a cynical laugh at this point.
Curling up somewhere warm and quiet and dying in my sleep sounds lovely. Really lovely.
I suppose I leave things to the last minute is because I enjoy the stress and pressure. Even if it drives me nuts. It's probably the only excitement in my life nowadays.
I'd like nothing more than to stare blankly at a wall or something. The TV is too stimulating. Sometimes, I thnk I'm autistic. I wasn't diagnosed as one, but sometimes, my senses can go into overdrive. Like on Tuesday morning during class. Wool is not fun against the skin and neither is air. I might have annoyed the lecturer with my twitching and fidgeting. I remember an incident as a child when I was in the backseat of the then family car. I remember whimpering and writhing, trying to stop the sensation of the car moving. Of course, my parents were freaking out and had slowed down the car but I couldn't stop until we reached our destination. It comes in waves, lasting from an hour to several days. My sight has degenerated, but they used to be very sharp. But my hearing? Hmm...other than ringing silence and the ringing in my ears? bleh....
My life has nothing worthwhile anymore and I don't know what to do with it. I'm just hoping I die young,
Might have to do with the erratic sleep schedule I've had for the past few weeks. Not to mention any proper meals in the past few days. But that's okay, I've gone to bed hungry many times. And thirsty. And tired. And lonely.
And yes, I'm feeling tired again. Not physically. My soul feels like it's actually 500 years old. I feel weary, jaded, yet horribly naive in this generation. I feel the need to smoke and imbibe in some alcohol. It's a pity the taste of cigs kill off my tastebuds and speeds up any sorethroat or coughs I might have, and alcohol makes me even more depressed. Another reason why I've never been drunk. There's only so much depression one can take. And I'm not about to repeat my 14th year. Or was 15th? My memory is failing me as well. I need to have a cynical laugh at this point.
Curling up somewhere warm and quiet and dying in my sleep sounds lovely. Really lovely.
I suppose I leave things to the last minute is because I enjoy the stress and pressure. Even if it drives me nuts. It's probably the only excitement in my life nowadays.
I'd like nothing more than to stare blankly at a wall or something. The TV is too stimulating. Sometimes, I thnk I'm autistic. I wasn't diagnosed as one, but sometimes, my senses can go into overdrive. Like on Tuesday morning during class. Wool is not fun against the skin and neither is air. I might have annoyed the lecturer with my twitching and fidgeting. I remember an incident as a child when I was in the backseat of the then family car. I remember whimpering and writhing, trying to stop the sensation of the car moving. Of course, my parents were freaking out and had slowed down the car but I couldn't stop until we reached our destination. It comes in waves, lasting from an hour to several days. My sight has degenerated, but they used to be very sharp. But my hearing? Hmm...other than ringing silence and the ringing in my ears? bleh....
My life has nothing worthwhile anymore and I don't know what to do with it. I'm just hoping I die young,
