(no subject)
Sep. 24th, 2005 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
13thfallenangeli miss martial arts.
i miss the repetetive movements, the dodging, the ducking, having to think on your feet, having instincts taking over and your mind going blank.
what am i doing with my life anyways?
i miss striking things....i mean, i have a perfectly good reasons for hitting things and i won't get into trouble for pounding away at a punching bag. all i want for a gift is a punching bag and a place to hang it up. everytime i get annoyed or angry, i feel like hitting people and since i'm not supposed to hit my parents and every single entity that annoys the shit out of me, martial arts was salvation. now i don't even have that.
fuck this.
this morning, i dreamed.
i dreamed of chatting happily with other people, cigarette in hand. i remember dreaming of being able to blow a smoke ring. there were other flashes, fading memories. why is it that even in my sleep, i play out scenarios and intereact with other people?
is this going to be more deja vu moments for me in the future?
i miss the repetetive movements, the dodging, the ducking, having to think on your feet, having instincts taking over and your mind going blank.
what am i doing with my life anyways?
i miss striking things....i mean, i have a perfectly good reasons for hitting things and i won't get into trouble for pounding away at a punching bag. all i want for a gift is a punching bag and a place to hang it up. everytime i get annoyed or angry, i feel like hitting people and since i'm not supposed to hit my parents and every single entity that annoys the shit out of me, martial arts was salvation. now i don't even have that.
fuck this.
this morning, i dreamed.
i dreamed of chatting happily with other people, cigarette in hand. i remember dreaming of being able to blow a smoke ring. there were other flashes, fading memories. why is it that even in my sleep, i play out scenarios and intereact with other people?
is this going to be more deja vu moments for me in the future?
